Family As A Process

    The quality of my family has varied a great deal in the aspect of my parents income.  When my siblings and I were younger, my parents were always working, therefore, we would be at a babysitters or with our grandma.  As we got older, both parents continued to work, but we were not at a babysitters.  My parents income increased, meaning, we had more flexibility for expenses on luxury.  Health is another aspect that has varied in my family, my mother was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetic in June 2004.  Some days she will be fine and other days sheis not so fine.  My brothers and I are not there to support my mom, we are to resort to phones calls to show our concern for her health.  We have all had to make a lifestyle change in our diets to support her.  Leaving the nest is another aspect, the fact that my parents or my siblings and I are constantly traveling thousands of miles to be reunited has strengthened the quality of our family bond.  More meaningful activities as a family are pursued as opposed to individual activities.  We find joy in going to the store together and taking pictures of the silly things that we find and do! 

    To name a few traditions that could qualify my family as idiosyncratic in a Caucasian community include: my parents being born and raised in Mexico; my dad makes pancakes for us every Saturday, instead of beans and tortillas; opening Christmas presents at midnight Christmas Eve; making tamales and pozole (traditional Mexican foods) all day Christmas Eve; most weekends growing up were spent at my grandparents home with all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins (carne asada was usually involved!); grandma would not let us watch our cartoons until her soap operas were done, which meant never!  We did not think that we were weird growing up, but at times our friends at school would talk about going camping, hunting, snowboarding or skiing then we asked why we didn't do activities like our friends.  It was then that we thought what we did as a family was weird.  As we got older, we embraced the difference our family brought to the community.
 

    The relationship quality of my family can be viewed on a continuum.  When my siblings and I were younger, my mom would spank us and tell us what we did wrong; we were scared of our mom.  Our dad would come home late, be really happy, and play music really loud; he was fun but he was never home it seemed.  On Saturdays, he would wake us up by the smell of our favorite breakfast, pancakes; he knew that would wake us up!  As we got older, consequences for inappropriate behavior went from spanking to talking about why our behavior was inappropriate.  Then, when I was 18, I decided to join the church.  Talking about why this decision was inappropriate became intense; the tension was present throughout the home but overtime it eased.  My relationship with my family was not a healthy one;  then, I came to college and I realized what a blessing my family was and is to me, they prepared me to accept the gospel.  Since, I was 19 my relationship with my family has never been better; it further improved after I served a mission!  Since my mission, my family has also experienced my two brothers joining the Marines.  The change of my siblings and I growing up, have encouraged my parents to do more activities as a family.  My parents have realized that there time with us, on this earth, draws closer to an end every day.

    I believe that my family has come a long way, we are not perfect but every day our family relationship is strengthening.  It is evident in the type of relationship I had with my family before and after I joined the church; the way my parents have dealt with the fact that my sibling and I are slowly moving out of the nest and pursing and accomplishing our goals; the increased level of care and concern from children towards parents and vise versa; and the increasing acceptance our parents have for our individual interests and pursuits.